“Pantang” Singapore

Attending a wake

I went to a wake recently. It’s for a Grandmother of a friend. She passed away at a ripe old age, peacefully in her sleep. I guess this will be a good time to discuss some interesting taboos in a traditional Chinese wake.

1. Try not to wear bright colors to a wake. Bright colors are reserve for happy occasions. However, a friend explained that some family are different, the death of a really old person is consider a celebration instead of a sorrowful event. After all, it is consider a blessing to be able to live out a long life. However, to play it safe, choose only dull color or black clothing when attending a wake.

2. No saying Good bye when we leave the wake. In mandarin, the word “Good bye” (“再见”) literality translates into “see you again”. Since a wake is definitely not an ideal reason to meet up again, we refine from saying “再见”. Either leave quietly, or simply inform them we are leaving and just go. Generally, the family will thank us for coming, just nodded, ask them to take care of themselves and go.

3. Remember to tie a piece of red string to your hand, and “accidentally” lose it after leaving the wake. Do not bring the string home. It’s supposed to help ward off any negativity from attending a wake. Chinese lar, when someone dies and they feel that there are a lot of negative energy at work. Bad luck and all sorts of negativity are associated with these. If you are Pantang, remember the red string. It can be found along side with the snacks and drinks provided. Don’t get caught for littering though. ;)

posted by Joan @ 12:38 AM